Monday, March 12, 2007

NDR: Operation™ & Nightmares

So, I know this blog is about derby, but I can’t help but blog about two bizarre encounters I had within several hours of each other on Saturday.

1) I saw the “Operation” guy at CVS

2) I had a flashback to the most memorable nightmare I’ve ever had

As for #1, I thought I was tripping. I was checking out at CVS when two guys walked up to the counter from the back of the store. One was the dude from Operation!!! You know, the game where you have metal tweezers and you have the pick out “the funny bone” without zapping the bejesus out of yourself? It was THAT GUY. He looked just like him and even had a red rubber thing over his nose. My first thought was that the pharmacy must be doing some sort of promo about health check ups, then I realized that’s a really stupid idea. I kept looking at him without trying to stare. I was like, “did I just see that, or am I flashing?” I seriously thought I was in the middle of an acid flashback, and so help me god if I had been on acid when this happened! I realized the guy was developmentally disabled after a few minutes, but I still don’t get why the red rubber thing was on his nose! If I had thought about it at the time, I would have taken a camera-phone pic of this, because I know anyone I tell about it would ask me this: “Were you high?” Totally bizarre.

After I left CVS I went to a bridal shower for a girl I work with. It was held at this little church in a really old Baltimore neighborhood. The shower was in the main room of the church – a room covered in fake wood paneling, filled with tables and with a stage at the front, lined with gifts. When I looked closer at the stage, I freaked. It brought me back to this terrible dream I had when I was 18:

In the dream, I’m wearing a puffy yellow dress and I go into this “church” that’s the basement of a row house. I don’t really know why I’m there, but once I go inside I realize a crowd of my friends and family are all seated in the back half of the room. In the front half is a long folding table – the kind you sit at when at a banquet, but without any tablecloth. On top of the table is a metal folding chair. Someone escorts me to the table and has me sit on the chair on top of the table. It’s then that I realize I’m being crowned the Queen of White Trash. Everyone there is really proud of me because I’ve done “better” than those who came before me, but this title makes me really upset. I remember waking from that dream and thinking, “Is all I’ll ever be the Queen of White Trash? I don’t want to be White Trash at all! I want to be better than that!” And, so, this single dream is the metaphor for my life that I’ve forever been trying to escape, which is why I have such a strong work ethic, etc, etc. I digress.

The reason I freaked at the shower was that the bride-to-be’s mother had placed a chair in the center of the stage for her daughter to sit in and open presents. It was all too real for me. Yet, I don’t see her as white trash. Do you ever have moments like these that just hit you like a brick wall? It’s killer.

No comments: