Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Square Peg, Round Hole?

Some of you may have read my last blog entry and wondered, “What does this have to do with challenging the misconceptions of women and size?”

To answer the above question: everything.

I often feel the need to justify the direction the blog has taken over the last month or so. As a big girl, I face the world looking through the eyes of a big girl. Always. So hopefully my perceptions and reactions to the situations and stories I’m relaying in this blog serve as an inspiration of sort to big girls everywhere – any anyone else who feels like they’re viewing the world from anything other than a “normal” perspective.

For example, in my previous entry, “Parading About Town,” I could have relayed a different experience – one I may have had and felt, say, 5 years ago. Naturally, the situation would have been different (the story as well). I may not have even decided to participate in the parade for fear of people looking at me, let alone in a short hot-pink skirt. But I didn’t choose to let my insecurities get in the way of what turned out to be a really great experience.

In every aspect of my life I challenge myself to conduct myself with the respect and dignity I deserve. Whether you’re fat, skinny, pretty, ugly, tall, short, modest, tenacious, rich, poor, smart, or have an intellectual disability, you deserve dignity and respect, and there is no reason to invite anything other than that by allowing your insecurity to rule your life.

So, many entries may pass before you hear me talk about poking at my pooch, weighing myself, obsessing about eating, or anything else that has to do with the label people who don’t know me may use (even though I do and think about these things privately every day). It’s pointless. One of the great things that has come out of derby for me is the ongoing acceptance of my body and inabilities and celebration of my abilities. Great derby players aren’t made overnight, and great derby players aren’t great at everything derby. Many of the ladies who are considered “greats” have shed their inhibitions, found out what their strengths are, and used those strengths to both succeed and launch improvement of skills that they lack in. Many people who are considered “greats” in history have done this as well.

I’m hoping that by reveling some very personal and honest thoughts and feelings here that you can identify with me in some way and find that silver lining that you’ve been overlooking, the strength to keep pushing forward, and the ability to treat yourself with respect and dignity. It’s something you deserve.


Anonymous said...

Thank you for this :)

reet said...

i love you! even if i overlook the silver lining everyday, i always go away with a positive attitude after being here! ;)