Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The Routine of Routine

I’ve lately fallen into the routine of routine. I’m doing everything I’m obligated to do, but not much else of anything I want to do or had planned for myself to do by now.

Perhaps it’s the barrage of weddings, bridal showers, and baby showers I’ve been involved with attending, planning, and hosting lately. Perhaps it’s that just making it through my average day takes it out of me. I’m not sure what the reasoning is, but I know I need to get back on track trying to accomplish some goals I’ve set for myself, namely to write more.

I remember some of my first attempts to write just to write – not because I had a paper due or was writing a letter. I would try and find inspiration – I’d sit outside, having no clue what I wanted to capture on paper or how to do it. I would spend hours in my room typing away, mostly satirizing well-known fairy tales, but making them warped in some way. I had all the time in the world, but nothing really to write about. Now I have a million things to write about and no real time.

I guess this is why people never fulfill their dreams – unless your dream is the job or family you already have, you just don’t have time. Maybe that’s why so many people shift their dreams to be about “the kids” when they really wanted to travel or do just about anything else they simply no longer have the time to do. In some way, I guess I’ve set myself up to have a better chance at following my dreams. I don’t want kids, because I want other things. I digress.

I could have sat down and written for hours last night, but instead I watched too much television, including TMZ, E! News (why can’t I quit you?!), and all 2 hours of The Biggest Loser (does it really need to be 2 hours?). I never used to watch this much television.

I think I’m going to have to make time to do the things I want to do, even if that means placing predetermined times on my day planner like the dork that I am. I can’t stand to lose myself in the every day, and I think the only thing that will come of that is regret, so I’m putting a moratorium on routine. After all, the only thing that comes from routine is predictability, right? I don’t want predictability – I want excitement! And by “excitement” I mean sitting at my computer at home and writing regularly. D’oh! I guess that’s predictable too. Well, hopefully what I get out of it won’t be.

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