Wednesday, March 12, 2008


I purchased The Gutter Twins (Greg Dulli and Mark Lanegan) album last night, Saturnalia, and I’ve been listening to it today as I edit. It’s kind of a reflection of both artist’s lives told through the traditional Christian religious beliefs/mythology. I usually really dislike religion of any kind being intertwined with art (even though I love the influences Gospel has on certain musical endeavors), but I think it works in this instance as nothing more than a vehicle to tell the stories of the artists’ lives and their falls from grace and search for salvation in life. I think “salvation” for Dulli is love. I know less about Lanegan, but I suspect his salvation is success – perhaps not in the typical way we think of success, but I think its success however he defines it, nonetheless. This got me thinking about what my salvation is, salvation being that one redeeming factor in life that you strive for or that makes everything else okay, no matter how fucked up everything else actually is.

The answer as to what my salvation is, is I don’t know.

Salvation for me isn’t success, although success in doing something you love is really gratifying. I don’t, however, know that I could be happy with just that and nothing else.

Love, as in romantic love, doesn’t really seem like salvation to me either, though. I think of romantic love as one aspect of my life that’s great – it makes everything else in life better (better as in “enhanced”), but I couldn’t survive on that alone either.

My personality is the type that I have to be involved with and doing a million and one things at once. I like eliciting happiness out of other people. That makes me happy. I suppose I’d rather care than be cared for. I don’t know what that says about me, but I think it’s true.

If you were to define love as the single driving force behind everything there is – many different religions use some version of this type of love disguised as their unifying/creative force (e.g., God is love) – I could maybe be inclined to say that this type of love is my salvation, yet still I'm not so sure.

Wow, I think I just blew my own mind. If I follow my own logic above, God is my salvation, yet I don’t believe in “God,” a typical all-knowing, singular creative being, and I certainly don’t identify with the Christian culture. Maybe this is how the concepts of religion have been spun into what we see religion as today?

Generally, I dislike religion, because I feel it can’t be trusted, having been retranslated, morphed, and twisted with each subsequent generation following the inception of whatever that religion is. Then, even further back, comes the notion that a religion was “started.” This, too, seems suspect – like someone just made it up. Many people discredit Scientology and Mormonism for the exact same reason – they’re just newer to people living today. I can’t put faith in anything that mimics the telephone game or is generated from some seemingly improbable feat, and all religions I know of fit one bill or the other, if not both.

Now I’m off on a tirade. I sincerely hope I haven’t offended any of you, because even though I’ve laid my non-religious beliefs out there, I actually do respect everyone else’s beliefs. I hope this rant doesn’t make you hate me – I’m just trying to make sense of the confusion, which appears to be tied to everything out there for me, the new Gutter Twins album included.

There is no good way to end this entry, because these subjects will not end with definitive answers in my mind. I’ll continue to think, and write, and be random occasionally – hey, maybe that’s my salvation. Hmmm…


Megan said...

My salvation changes. Today it is Junior Mints. And if the Junior Mints have anything to say about it, tomorrow it will most likely be working out.

Tami said...

Wow finally someone else who thinks and has beliefs like me. I am not alone out there! My salvation is proably my dog, sometimes my Mom or my hubby but usually my dog and a walk around the hood. Drinking a mojito out on my pier is not a bad salvation either.