Monday, March 17, 2008

Too Much Food, Too Little Time

I don’t really have anything too thoughtful to write about today. I have polluted my body with food, alcohol, and cigarettes this past weekend, gained 7 pounds, and feel like crap.

I officiated my friends’ wedding on Saturday, so the food/drink/smoking began on Friday at the rehearsal dinner that was held in Little Italy. Now, I normally don’t eat pasta, but I wasn’t about to pass up a free meal in Little Italy, so I did it up, drank 5 glasses of wine, and finished with a cannoli, at that. Then we continued to drink.

The next day I tried to avenge the dark mistress of excess, and I kept with what I usually do on the weekends by going running at The Lake with my dog. But, I won’t lie; I was slow and it hurt. Yet, it felt great to get all the shit out of my body. Fast forward to that night, the night of the wedding. It all started with bacon straws. What is a bacon straw, you ask? Well, it’s a mini breadstick wrapped with bacon, coated in a glaze, and baked to finger-food perfection. It didn’t stop there. The buffet was amazing, and they had some sort of specialty cupcakes for dessert that had about 3 inches of glorious icing on top. I also drank 6-8 glasses of wine and did “das boot,” which is a glass boot my friend Dave brings everywhere that we chug beer from while everyone else chants “DAS BOOT! DAS BOOT! DAS BOOT!” And, yes, I know we’re actually saying “the boat,” when we chant that – we’re just some stupid Americans. After the wedding we went to a bar, followed by a local breakfast spot. Luckily the food there sucked ass, or I would have eaten more of it.

Then came yesterday – the day to “get back on track.” It started off well but then went downhill when I got a call to meet my boyfriend and another couple out at our favorite Mexican restaurant, El Salto. I wasn’t about to pass up a margarita from there – firstly, their margaritas are amazing, and secondly, I could have used a little hair of the dog. Hair of the dog probably equals about 1 drink though, not 3. We ordered 3 dips for our chips, full on meals, and fried ice cream. I’m not going to lie, it was delicious. I went to the bathroom to loosen my belt, but to my surprise my pants were fine – it was my stomach and skin that was tight! The massive amounts of food culminated in heartburn that lasted all of last night. I literally ate so much that it hurt. Why did I do this to myself?

Today is the dawn of a new day. It’s Monday, and unfortunately my indiscressions this weekend led to a 7 pound weight gain. That’s right, 7 pounds! I assume a lot of it is water, because my fingers are swollen, but still. I feel like Jabba the Hut. Skating tonight is gonna be fun!

2 comments:

Betty Beatdown said...

I was so pissed! J called GT and asked if we wanted to go to El Salto, but GT had a soccer game. Then he decided not to go to the soccer game. GT didn't tell me you called until later, or I totally would have come out, without him. VEGETARIAN OPTION B!!!!!!

Those bacon straws were fucking nuts.

Anonymous said...

i also feel like hell, but i can handle it for "tacos el salto." -J