Friday, June 13, 2008

CAMPAIGN FOR REAL BOOTY: PUNCHY O’GUTS

This week’s Campaign for Real Booty started out as a nomination by Ruth of All Evil. And who did she nominate, you ask? Well, only one of the fiercest ladies in Maine (aside from my mother-in-law): Punchy O’Guts!!!



Accoring to Ruth, “[Punchy's] got the fiercest booty on the track, and her dedication and commitment to the league are unmatched. And did I mention she's fierce?”

Punchy will have been skating for 2 years this September, as a member of Main Roller Derby. A Pivot and outside blocker, Punchy plays for here home team, the Port Authorities, and MRD’s chartered interleague all-star team. Unofficially, she’s won her league award for being the biggest “booze bag.”

“I joined roller derby because I wanted to punch people,” says Punchy, “I was a little disappointed when I found out I couldn't, but soon realized I could do major damage with my ass instead of my fists.”



“I like my ass because it makes me feel like a real woman,” Punchy says, “[it] helps me in derby because ain't nobody gettin' by, the sheer weight of the thing makes hard for a girl to take me down, and I don't need ass pads.”

On her MRD bio page, my favorite FAQ asks: You're a good booty blocker. Is your big butt real?

“Yes. It is. And I will sell you half a cheek for advertisement for only $500.”



Oh, man, we've all had bruises like that! Thanks for the nomination, Ruth, and thanks for the submission, Punchy! I'll drop you guys a note when I'm coming up to Maine for the holidays, and hopefully I can get knocked around by that sweet white ass.

Remember, peeps, we still need submission to keep CFRB going! Please e-mail nominations or submissions to me at: cindylop-her@charmcityrollergirls.com

3 comments:

Fist City Kitty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fist City Kitty said...

Speaking from experience, Punchy's booty block is FIERCE!

capn sue said...

holy hell, that is the kind of bruise that makes you hate pants for 2 weeks. fear the booty block of a punchy!