Friday, June 13, 2008


This week’s Campaign for Real Booty started out as a nomination by Ruth of All Evil. And who did she nominate, you ask? Well, only one of the fiercest ladies in Maine (aside from my mother-in-law): Punchy O’Guts!!!

Accoring to Ruth, “[Punchy's] got the fiercest booty on the track, and her dedication and commitment to the league are unmatched. And did I mention she's fierce?”

Punchy will have been skating for 2 years this September, as a member of Main Roller Derby. A Pivot and outside blocker, Punchy plays for here home team, the Port Authorities, and MRD’s chartered interleague all-star team. Unofficially, she’s won her league award for being the biggest “booze bag.”

“I joined roller derby because I wanted to punch people,” says Punchy, “I was a little disappointed when I found out I couldn't, but soon realized I could do major damage with my ass instead of my fists.”

“I like my ass because it makes me feel like a real woman,” Punchy says, “[it] helps me in derby because ain't nobody gettin' by, the sheer weight of the thing makes hard for a girl to take me down, and I don't need ass pads.”

On her MRD bio page, my favorite FAQ asks: You're a good booty blocker. Is your big butt real?

“Yes. It is. And I will sell you half a cheek for advertisement for only $500.”

Oh, man, we've all had bruises like that! Thanks for the nomination, Ruth, and thanks for the submission, Punchy! I'll drop you guys a note when I'm coming up to Maine for the holidays, and hopefully I can get knocked around by that sweet white ass.

Remember, peeps, we still need submission to keep CFRB going! Please e-mail nominations or submissions to me at:


Fist City Kitty said...
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Fist City Kitty said...

Speaking from experience, Punchy's booty block is FIERCE!

capn sue said...

holy hell, that is the kind of bruise that makes you hate pants for 2 weeks. fear the booty block of a punchy!