Thursday, June 12, 2008

Updates and a Review

I was in a weird state of not quite asleep but not quite awake either for the entirety of last night. During this time I was having lucid dreams about 1) formatting chapters at my job; and 2) being Audrina from The Hill’s publicist. Both were horrible tasks, and after all the demanding work I did while I was supposed to be sleeping, I’m exhausted (seriously, I’ve never even watch The Hills and I know Audrina is spiraling downward).

So, today is update day. I’ve been asked quite a bit for some updates on my IUD removal and shoulder, so I figured I’d take today to answer them.

IUD Removal: It went well. I was scared as hell to have it done, because I’ve read it hurts just as bad getting the thing yanked out as it does having it crammed in. My fear was, however, completely unwarranted, but perhaps for reasons other than the norm.

Once I was saddled up, my doc went in for the excavation and said, “Oh, well here’s your problem!” which is never something you want to hear while having someone poke around the innermost parts of your lady bits.

“Okay,” I said, “Let’s just get it out first and then we can discuss the problem.”

“It’s already out,” she said. “It has been sitting half-way in your cervix for quite some time—you can see the corrosion here.”

Wha?!

She went on to tell me that I must be a pretty tough broad, because if this had happened to any of her other patients, they’d be waiting for her outside her office door the next morning. It’s apparently that painful. And I skated with the little guy half-way out and corroding for at least 3 months. The good news is that the sciatic nerve pain I was having went away immediately when the IUD was removed, and it hasn’t returned. I’m now back on the pill.

The Shoulder: Basically, I’m impatient. As my doc put it, this is the second time I’ve had the exact same injury in a year, and 5 weeks is nothing. It could take 6 months. It could take surgery.

If in two more months I reach a plateau in my healing, we’ll try cortisone shots. If they don’t work, I’ll have surgery to have my clavical shortened. The joint is super inflamed still, causing the two bones that are normally separated by a gap to be overlapping and grinding up against each other. And sometimes in some people, due to the grinding, the inflammation never goes away, hence the surgical option.

So, best case scenario, I can skate at RollerCon (fingers crossed), and my next appearance in a bout will be in September (!)—depressing, huh?

I am going to start going back to practice and just doing the endurance-type stuff—no falls or hits or scrimmaging for me for a while.

Now, a review…

Call it a product of good advertising, but J and I got the K-Y, Yours+Mine™ lube and were able to give it a go before he went on his mancation. The deal here is suppose to be that there are two individual lubes, one for the woman (or, partner A) and one for the man (or, partner B). Each is suppose to be “exciting” in its own rite (packaging wording, not mine), yet thrilling when the two “meet.”

The “Yours,” or men’s product, is indiscernible in smell and feel (I put some on my leg to test it out on its own). The “Mine,” or women’s product, smells a bit like Ben Gay and gives off an eerily similar cooling sensation. Together, they burn.

Now, the “burning” isn’t all that bad. It definitely calls your attention to the general area (as if I wouldn’t notice what was going on without the interactive lube—“Holy crap! There’s a penis in my vagina!”).

In any event, as someone who rarely uses any lube, I found it to be a positive experience if for no other reason than it encourages foreplay.

And lastly, to you smart asses out there (Anna and Tami), thanks for taking the time to spell it out for me that you MUST cut a slit in the chili pepper to get the cheese in a chili relleno. Until this morning when I read your comments, I really thought this yummy food was the product of immaculate conception.

1 comment:

Beyonslay said...

Have you tried accupuncture to help with the inflammation around your separated shoulder? It may help things heal a little bit faster. Best of luck.