Monday, September 22, 2008

These Boots are Made for Kicking Ass!

I have an obsession with shoes – and accessories. I think those obsessions are something nearly all typical-clothing-size challenged women share. We want to shop, but trying on pants can be annoying if not impossible because nearly everything that’s “hip” is made in Junior sizing, which there’s no way in hell my ass is going to fit into. Boots are no exception.

I’ve always had problems finding knee-high boots that fit my sixteen-and-a-half inch calves. The only type of boots I could ever buy were the fake-leather stretchy kind, and even then those sometimes don’t fit.

Then two years ago I became acquainted with “extended calf” boots when I picked up a pair of Bloomingdales-brand, red leather, extended calf, heeled boots at a discount store. I was so excited that they fit that I didn’t care if they weren’t “my style” or not – until last season when I barely ever put them on.

I’m a boot girl – I like to wear boots with dresses and skirts, but I also like the boots to have a bit of an edge and replace the “traditionally feminine” feel you get from the dress or skirt with the “traditionally ass kicking” feel that goes along with a really cool pair of boots. (I do this with jewelry too – I have 2 nice rings that are diamond and sapphire, but I have to wear a big thick black leather banded watch to negate some of the “pretty” or I feel awkward and unlike myself.)

I’ve most recently been on a quest for the perfect pair of flat black leather boots – they need to be flat because I’m tired of dicking around with sore feet (I want to be comfortable), and they need to be a bit more casual, because each day I feel like my wardrobe becomes more “working professional” than I want it to be. These need to be the type of boots I can wear out on the weekend with my normal clothes, but I should also be able to juxtapose them with a sleek dress or tailored skirt and wear them to work.

I’ve done extensive internet searches, and I’ve found all sorts of sites that provide a whopping 3-4 pairs of wide-calf boots – all of which look like I should either be in my late 40s driving a Volvo station wagon with two kids in the back seat named Todd or I should be cruising Wal-Mart on my 1st date with a guy named Cletus. They’re either too prim and proper or they look cheap as hell – think “all man made materials” (which I got suckered into buying and paying way too much for once under the guise “vegan”).

I resigned myself to the fact that I wasn’t going to compromise and buy something that was “just okay” or that I didn’t really like. I have been holding out for that perfect pair.

Then, this past Saturday, my Mom and I are at the mall, and out of the corner of my eye I see this pair of boots. I knew I had seen them before – I saw an ad for them several weeks ago, but although they were cool, I quickly dismissed them thinking I would just be too disappointed if I ever had the chance to try them on and they, like all other cool boots, didn’t zip up over my calves. I decided to try them on anyway.

HOLY CRAP! THEY FIT! Not only that, but they cost just as much money as my mom had given me cash earlier in the day in my birthday card. And, perhaps best yet, they are actually sized a bit big – no way in hell people with “normal” size calves could wear these cool boots – finally, someone sides with the big girls! Hooray!

I swear to you, I’m going to wear the hell out of these boots:


Mary X said...

Congrats! Those are some seriously bad ass boots. Way to rock it!

Ruth of All Evil said...

Wow, HOT!

Anonymous said...

sweet kicks :)

Midlife Crashes said...

nice! i have the same size calves, it sucks! except for when people are scared/impressed by them ("what kind of workouts do you do to get those calves?" "uh, none?"). i have two pairs of knee-high boots, took me years to find 'em! congrats!

dreadnought said...

Ooh. I like these!!! I've learned that I can wear New Rock tall boots, but I need to stretch the calves out a bit before wearing them on long walks.

Slay Belle said...

Man, I'm jealous. Are those Docs? Do you know what the 'name' of the boot is? I've been desiring the Jolie boot but I'm afraid that the calf is going to be too small.

Cindy Lop-her said...

They are Docs! They are the Phoenix, which can be seen here:

It's a brilliant boot, because the straps aren't just for show - they are what keeps the boot together, meaning you can loosen the buckles to where you need them to be loosened.

Just checked out the Jolie, and they look sweet too!