Saturday, January 3, 2009

The Hamster Wheel of Procrastination (…and my not having it)

I’ve always been a procrastinator. As a child I refused to go to bed, as an adolescent I refused to do my homework or prepare for tests until late in the evening the night before, and as an adult I refuse to purchase my license plate tag renewal sticker in time to actually receive the sticker in the mail before the old sticker expires (which happened again last month). However, the older I’ve gotten, the less attractive procrastinating has become to me. During the time I’m not doing what I should be doing, I make myself sick with anxiety, which is usually worse that just doing whatever the hell it is that I should just do now anyhow.

This coming Monday marks the beginning of my 5th year of roller derby and my 4th season, and at this time during all previous years I’ve felt the same squirmish sense of a lack of preparation, save maybe last season (last season I was more prepared to learn than in years past, but I was still squirmish and no better for the wear). This year, I actually feel prepared.

I could say it’s the l-o-n-g time off due to consecutive injuries, but I don’t think that’s it (I’ve been injured before, as many of you well know). I think this time I feel prepared because I didn’t sit back and relax after each injury, like I had done previously. As soon as I could bear the pain and not risk a Percocet-induced treadmill fall, I was back in my gym shoes forcing myself to run, and run, and run. I’ve always hated running, but it’s been the only thing that even comes close to the intensity of skating while hitting people, and I’d be damned if I lost the momentum I had going into the beginning of last season just because of an injury (or two).

The results will only be able to be quantified after Monday’s practice, but I already know that I’m faster – way fucking faster – an unforeseen side effect of my just trying to keep up my endurance as much as possible. Another unforeseen side effect of my injuries last season relates to how much I threw myself into derby work with WFTDA and RollerCon. I couldn’t separate from derby, so I cranked out work and got to know better an awesome crew of ladies from leagues all over the world. It’s this sisterhood and friendship with my girls (the majority of whom are on the west coast) that caused me to want to try out for the CCRG All Stars again. I want to travel. I want to play my friends. And I want to kick their asses while I’m doing it.

The combined desire to step up my game for top-10 level game play and the confidence and speed I’ve gained from overcoming my utter hatred of running (I kick running’s ass now!) have unexpectedly placed me in a position where I actually feel prepared – so prepared that I mentioned jamming on here several weeks ago (eek!). Part of me is scared about jamming, but the other larger part of me wants to prove that voluptuous bitches like myself can not only jam, but also can rock jamming, so I’m going to attempt to do just that.

2009 is going to be my year. I know I said that last year, but I made a deal with PENALTYna not to fuck up my shoulders again this year, so I’m feeling a bit more confident about my longevity. 2009, I rule the world! Monday, I rule the snake line. Tomorrow, I rule the treadmill – 5 miles closer to my goals than I was today.


Ivanna Shoverova said...

Hi Cindy, I was just wondering how you're structuring your running - I want to start running to improve my speed and endurance, too, but I've got no idea where to start!

Cindy Lop-her said...

Hmmm. Running is something I'm certainly no expert at but here's what I did...

1. Go as slow as you need to to start. I tried the whole one minute on, two minutes off running bit, but for me it didn't work. If you go to a gym, seriously set up the treadmill for 3.5 or 4 mph - it may seem slow, but go as slow as you need so you can job for 20 minutes straight. Don't even look at the miles.

2. Do this 3 times a week or more.

3. For me, running outside is harder, especially in winter. Here in Baltimore I can run if it's 36 degrees or above - any less makes my performance go down and lungs hurt. But! Running outside gives you a different type of running experience. I recommend both, because you learn to push yourself in different valuable ways.

4. Kick it up a notch. Challenge yourself each time out run -go a little faster or a little longer or both. Once you get faster, you can start setting mile milestones (but don't concern yourself with this at first, because it will only amke you discourged and upset).

5. make a good playlist that will make you want to keep moving. I'm not typically into the hip hop, but I like it when I run. I'm really into Spankrock and Bangers & Cash right now. Listening to songs about booty makes me want to move mine.

6. When you feel like you can't go anymore, I envision myself skating. My girls cheering for me and the crowd going wild. Me doing some awesome-ass moves. It gets me through the rough spots.

Good luck! Let me know how it goes!

Ruth of All Evil said...

You had better make that damn all-star team so you can come up to Maine in March and I can blow whistles at you.

Midlife Crashes said...

You KNOW you can jam. You've got proof from other booty-licious derby girls out there!!

If your gym lets you (mine said no, boo), do some full-incline, slow (1.5-2 mph) backwards walking on that treadmill. Plain walking, side-stepping, crossovers, full turns (both directions). It helped my pack footwork tremendously--just having the agility to bounce thru a hole the second it came open. Try it!