Thursday, March 24, 2011

A Pole Dancer I am Not... Yet

I wouldn’t say I’m an adrenaline junkie in the typical sense. I don’t jump off cliffs without a parachute, and I always wear my seatbelt, but I’m definitely attracted to trying new things that force me out of my comfort zone. I think that when we place ourselves in these positions we learn the most about ourselves, and those things we learn can help us to grow. Last night I placed myself out of my comfort zone, with nothing to cling to but a stripper pole.

Last weekend after having been asked by several different friends to join each of them for a different after-work exercise outing, I decided that for a month I wouldn’t turn down any exercise invite – I would just go – because, after all, doing something (regardless of what that something is) is better than sitting on my ass doing nothing, which I’ve been doing entirely too much of lately. On Monday I had a date to run several miles at the Lake, and last night was my debut attempting a pole-dancing class at Xpose fitness in Arundel Mills, where I was definitely pushed out of my comfort zone.

Let me start with this: I am not a dancer. Yes, I am known to tear up the dance floor at roller derby after parties, Pants Off Dance Off nights, the Lith Hall, and the occasional gay bar, but I’ve also had some liquid courage and according to my recollection there are typically no mirrors around me. I actually really like to go out dancing, but when I’m there my goal is to have fun with my ladies. I’m not moving for anyone else but me, and I could give a shit what I look like when I do it. I feel the music and I move. While pole dancing may eventually be about feeling the music, it’s certainly not in the beginner class! It’s all about the moves, which are quite frankly extremely difficult to mimic.

I was pleased to find a very diverse mix of ladies attending this class, and I was even more pleased that the instructor didn’t live up to my idea of what a pole-dancing instructor may be like. Instead, she was funny and the opposite of what you think of when you think of most fitness instructors, who in my mind at least, are all peppy petite blondes with tiny voices. No, last night’s pole-dancing instructor reminded me of a rollergirl, which instantly put my mind at ease. Until she started moving.

I almost feel like I needed a pre-beginner class to teach me how to move my hips, legs, and ass in all those various swaying figure-eight motions I always just assumed I knew how to do, because in reality – in front of a mirror – I really can’t move the way I thought I could! But I tried, I kept moving, and I found that I really enjoyed and excelled in the more athletic moves like spins into back bends (you got to pick up those dollas somehow). Then we moved to the floor – hello, abs! The back bend transitioned into placing your shoulders on the floor, lowering your hips down, raising your chest up, and doing a bunch of shit with your legs in the air, constantly moving. This all resulted in walking on your ass half way around the pole and then strategically getting back up, all the time staying in the correct proximity to the pole. Wow. Just, wow.

I joked last night that I’m build for efficiency, not for the viewing pleasure of others. In all seriousness, I’m used to using my body to accomplish a task, whether that be running, performing offensive or defensive derby moves, or just doing some action repeatedly. I’ve always been able to get the job done, but I’ve never said it was going to look pretty. I’ll sweat, I’ll hustle, and I’ll push my body to accomplish seemingly difficult tasks, but what I am REALLY not used to is moving my body in a way that’s visually appealing. It’s difficult. Very difficult. So, hats off to strippers everywhere.

When I left last night my first thought was, “No way in hell I’m coming back.” Seeing myself fail miserably in a mirror was a big blow to my self esteem, but by the time I went to bed last night I realized that there’s no way in hell I couldn’t go back. Putting myself in an awkward position once did make me learn something about myself, but going back and working on improving the aesthetics of my body movements – something I’m not naturally good at – will build character. Since being retired from derby, I don’t challenge myself enough by trying to overcome something I’m really bad at, and I need that. I need to be knocked down a few pegs on a regular basis so that I have something to work on.

The verdict: I’ll be back on the pole next week, and in the meanwhile I’ll be practicing a lot of ungraceful body movements in the full-length mirror at night!


Chris and Megan said...

/, you and I are on the same page about dancing and "moving in a visually appealing way."

now that my shoulder is healed I can't wait to try the classes again!!

Anonymous said...

Dude, there's an Xpose right next to my house...right by the 7-11. I'm too scared to go. Take me? At least you know what to expect AND you know I will fall and injure something and it was be hilarious!

Cindy Lop-her said...

Anna, I'll take you! Pick a time. I think their free classes for newbies are on Saturday mornings?

Allie Gator said...

We have a place called Miss Pole here in Madison. I signed up to take a burlesque class that starts next month! I'm super excited, but also a bit nervous!

Joie said...

I would LOVE to do the pole stuff, but I dont think there are any anywhere close to me.

And I HATE seeing myself in the mirrors. My focus is always on "omg my stomach is sticking out! OMG my thighs just jiggled!!"